I got this letter from a Cat Chat® listener and feel bad for him – these “sudden aggression†issues seem to be cropping up and it’s painful and frustrating to deal with.
Hey there. I love your show, although I haven’t had a chance to catch it for awhile. I have been calling my friends about this and can’t get a real answer so I was wondering if you could help. I have two cats, both 3 years of age. I adopted my first cat, whom I simply named “Cat” about two-and-a-half years ago. Next, I adopted Kelli about six months later when I was visiting friends in Portland Oregon. Cat, who is male, and Kelli, who is female, have gotten along pretty good for quite some time although there seems to always be a bit of rivalry between the two. Kelli was the “dominant” cat for awhile, but it seems things are changing now. They would sometimes fight and wrestle with each other that seemed playful at first, but recently the playful fighting is more aggressive. I always tried to break them up when it happened too.
On Monday of last week, I went out for an evening stroll and was gone for about 20 minutes. Before I left, the cats were fine. When I returned, Cat had Kelli cornered in the back bedroom. Kelli was moaning and groaning in ways I had never heard before. Cat was standing in front of her, about a foot at most, with his tail all bushed out. Fur was everywhere and I Kelli had defecated on the floor.
I have been taking my friends in advice to keep them separated by shutting one up in a room. It doesn’t seem to be working and Kelli gets very upset being shut up like that. The next thing I have heard is to have them “declawed” which I oppose or the real drastic alternative of giving one up for adoption. Is there any other options available? They seem to be archenemies now with no hope of returning back to the way they were.
Thanks for your help-
Kevin
I wrote Kevin back:
Declawing would be the most perfectly dreadful thing you could do – the problem between them will not change just because you mutilate your cat’s feet (please see THE CAT BIBLE and the website for more on the horrors of declawing). In fact, declawing could even make a bad situation worse.
There is a Bach flower essence sold on www.SpiritEssence.com called “Ultimate Peacemaker†which you rub a few drops of inside each cat’s ear and massage into their paw pads. People say these natural remedies really have a positive effect.
I turned to Cat Chat’s own “Dear Sally,†Sally Bahner, for her thoughts on this situation. As always with Sally, she has questions before answers can be possible – if you choose to have a private consultation with her (which I really do recommend in severe cases like this) she can guide you through a process of figuring out what is going on and how to turn the tide. Sally wrote:
What has happened since the last confrontation? Are they still separated? How do they act when Kevin is in the room? Almost sounds like something triggered the aggression.
It’s not unusual for a wrestling match to get a little carried away, but hand clapping or tossing a toy can usually break it up, any kind of a distraction. For now, it’s probably a good idea to keep them separated. Make the time they’re with Kevin happy and pleasant — a meal together (not too close), or some interactive play, nice music. Short sessions and
reward them when they get along. Until they’re reconciled or when Kevin is not around, keep them separated, but alternate who is locked up so they get used to the other’s scent.
Declawing in no way will solve the behavior! After all they still have teeth.
Kevin wrote me back (it seems the story has at least a semi-happy ending)
Thanks for the reply, Tracie. My cats are doing better. There is the periodic aggression episode, but I think that is because Kelli (‘The Queen’) just doesn’t want to be bothered. They start rubbing against each other when it is meal time and during the day, they sleep with each other. Just once in awhile, it seems World War III is about to start. Oddly enough, I find Kelli can really start screaming and howling at about 4 AM. Unfortunately, I am asleep at that time and don’t know what triggers it exactly then. They are trying to establish who is the boss I guess. Fortunately, I believe it will not result in a bloody battle. That is the good thing.
