Dr. Wally Smith is the station manager of WLIU (which is now looking of a new home) and which has been broadcasting DOG TALK®. I got this very touching series of emails from him right before the show with my guest, Susan Cohen, the pet loss grief counselor from the Animal Medical Center in NYC. Wally gave me permission to share our exchange:
I had to euthanize Alexander last evening. He was down to 4 pounds, stopped eating, and was having difficulty walking. It was largely kidney failure and complications from that. He was normally active until about four days ago and faded fast. He went without resistance, closed his eyes did not wince at the shot, and moved on. Bonnie was not able to be with me at the vet but came by to help bury him. We opened the towel he was wrapped in and he was curled up in his fetal position and as peaceful as though he was having a great night’s sleep. He earned it.
What a special and beautiful animal. His presence in my life was so enormous that I am devastated and miss him more than I ever imagined. He was such a huge spirit and presence in the house and my life. It is now like a tomb without light and the silence is palpable. His sister has just caught on and is looking everywhere for him. How very sad. But I know he is better off now and is where he needed to go next. But he will always be on my mind and in my heart.
Sorry for unloading this on you, it just sort of spilled out. I guess because you are one of the few persons who will understand the loss and depth of feelings for my wonderful buddy and friend. Whew, I am not the tough old geezer I once thought I was.
I wrote back to Wally:
I am so deeply sorry for your loss, but grateful that he went quickly and peacefully.
I am touched and honored that you shared this with me. Ironically, my guest tomorrow on DOG TALK® is Susan Cohen, a pet loss grief counselor, and a really special person. I hope you’ll be listening because I think it may give some relief.
I am going to read what you wrote about what the feeling of the loss of Alexander was/is like for you — so others may be helped by sharing it, as you suggested.
Also, if you have it in your heart to send me a photo of him, I would like to put a little memorial space to him on my website. And if you find his sister becomes despondent please tell me and I’ll ask Jackson Galaxy to send you the Spirit Essence for grieving for her. It might help you, too — seriously.
What a sad day for you. The only thing I would beg you to do is feel free to write or call me any time of the day or night for as long as you might need. It’s so important to have that depth of feeling validated at a time like this. My thoughts are with you.
Thank you for your thoughtful and helpful response. There are very few people who understand the bond and relationship between animals and humans as clearly as you do. This has been extraordinarily difficult for me. Strange for a guy who grew up most of his life not liking cats. Alexander converted and transformed me and we were extremely close. A few night before he died, he crawled onto my chest and looked down at me. I was telling him how much I loved him and he took his paw and placed it softly over my lips and just held it there and looked at me. He loved Bonnie equally.
The vet liked him and described him as a Zen cat. He was loving, happy, playful, gentle, and caring. When Bonnie and I found him and his sister in the animal shelter in Long Beach, he was carefully guarding Samantha at the back of their cage and all of his life he would lie down next to her and cover her when she appeared to be in any danger. Never hostile, always quietly strong. Samantha is much more independent but it is clear that she loved him equally and is now beginning to sense his loss. I’ll keep my eye on her and let you know if I think she needs some special help.
I am recovering and will always be grateful for the time he and I had together. And thank you for being gracious and kind enough to listen.
Wally
