I wanted to share this correspondence because there are other people out there sharing Donna’s situation and it’s important that the rest of us do not rush to judgment. Donna is not a hoarder, and somehow I sensed that immediately from her comment on my Catster tip – she is a woman with an awful lot of cats looking for management solutions!
I love all of the info from your email, radio, literature etc.Yes, I have too many cats period. I am always afraid to bring up this type of subject because most people tell me to get rid of some of them. I think probably normal people do that. They can make that choice, release it and be comfortable. I however, psychologically cannot seem to do this. Every cat I have is a rescue and each one has a special place with me. They are so smart. They know their names and their individual routine. I do have them broken up into sub groups.Torti, no matter where she is, continues to mark. I recognize how important territory is to them. A lot of this is more noticeable because currently they are all indoor-it is really cold here. Normally the majority stay in the yard and seem to have their boundaries worked out. The felines have caused a lot of stress between my husband and I. I am not a “crazy cat lady “or a “hoarder”, but there has been a great deal of trauma in my life and rescuing them has kept me alive. I sincerely mean what I just said. There have been days I thought I need to jump off the rock, but then I look around and think what would happen to them am not saving them-they are saving me. When there is more order here, my husband and I fight less but it has gotten away from me. Besides this I do TNR with feral cats. At one time we were going to try to build something in the backyard for them but our finances are in bad shape.Actually,that is the source of my husband’s anger-money spent on pets. So Tracie, this is probably a lot more than you bargained for. I am hoping you can point me to some resources so I do not lose my entire family. Thank you so much for your support. Gratefully, Donna
My heart goes out to you- these are very tricky situations. As you noticed, I did NOT tell you to get rid of your cats or go see a social worker- even from your short posting I knew you were someone devoted to your cats and needed support, not rejection.
However, your human relationship must come first – because without that foundation how can you continue your cat part of your life?! And we have to acknowledge your husband’s perspective both physically and financially.
So one thing i recommend you stop doing ASAP is TNR – you don’t need to spend resources on that – unless it costs you nothing and gives you great satisfaction.
It is possible to build an outdoor enclosure and a cat house with lots of straw for bedding without spending a bunch of money.
But you have to have friends or family who can do all the labor.
Go to the websites for” Purrfect fence” and “Cat fence In” and see if you can copy some aspect of their design.You basically want a large chicken house – wire mesh up and over the top – you could build it up against a side of your house, garage or shed that would support it.
You can build a little sandbox area for litter box. Buy prefab outdoor dog houses or build your own and bed them with straw and old sweatshirts etc. You could fit most of the cats in there – maybe you could ask friends if they have any rolls of wire – or have discounts at stores where you can get tall posts as supports.
I know it all adds up financially but would give you peace in the house and that means a great deal.
Tracie, I have to tell you, your email response, well, I am crying. It means so much to me that you would take the time to write this. What you said about support-I am just so grateful. Sometimes I feel like I am going to end up on one of those shows where animal control shows up and I am displayed as an eccentric unbalanced “Cat Lady”. On the outside it would seem I had the ideal childhood, but inside was a whole other story. I love my family-it’s not that. Things just happen sometimes when parents are occupied. My brother Mark, pretty much raised me.Well, he died of Aids about 4 years ago and I have not been the same since. So separation from things I love is too intense for me. My cats are my family. I could have the doors closed and hear a meow and I can tell you what cat it is-there are 23 of them. Each cat has its own relationship with me. They know their names,infact they are actually like dogs! My house is on a mildly slanted driveway. When I walk down to get the mail they follow me. Usually single file. A great story to share-about 2 streets over from my house is a field with a house way back on it.”Doris “a torti bobtail loves to hunt there. Plus a few of the adolescent males give her a hard time. Sometimes she will stay over there for a couple of days.Normally,if it is too long, late at night I go to the field and call her name. She comes through the field, I scoop her up and we drive home. One night I am calling her and waiting. Apparently 2 of my other cats heard me from afar. Next thing I know they are waiting with me for Doris. When she comes we all get in the car. Doris, George and “D”. They are not too keen about the vehicle but they trust me and we go back to the house….I have a lot of stories like this. I am highly in tune with my animals. They never cease to amaze me with their intelligence and affection. I recognize that their behavior is governed by their keen sensory equipment and that their responses are generally about getting their needs met. There is however an intimacy that I don’t have with humans. It is sad but it is a driving force that is just a part of who I am…I love your ideas and I will check out this info. Had I gotten this email I would have been so honored to call your show, just tell me when and I will SO look forward to it. Can I pass your info on to my friends in rescue???I have a dear friend Jane, she does TNR and has her own pet sitting business. Both of us speak “Cat” and she would love what you are doing. As far as the feral cats, I have 3 sites going right now. Most of them have been altered already. There is an ex-Vietnam vet who looks after them too, so the food cost is cut in half. But you are right, it would be a smart thing to curtail any trapping. As we all know the numbers climb so fast and in a small town the cats are noticeable so it is for their safety too. Not everyone likes them. I am from the West Coast and people are a little different about animals here.Tracie,thank you for NOT rejecting me. Your word choice was perfect. Suffice to say my husband has “a friend” elsewhere so the cats are a good way to keep distance between us. So this is a crappy time in my life.Anyway, I will call in. Thank you for letting me vent. I know very little about you but look so forward to what you do. I don’t know if you have a spiritual life but I feel certain God will bless you for all of your efforts-what a beautiful thing! Take Care! Donna
