My husband and I adopted a five year old female tiger cat from the local shelter.  They told us that she was shy.  She had been at the shelter for a long time, had been adopted twice previously and returned both times.  They told us that originally she had been found in a sealed box in a parking lot with her litter of kittens. 

We have had her for four months and she still won't let us get near her.  She runs away whenever she thinks we are getting too close.  Initially, she stayed under the bed.  Gradually she came out and sat on the bed.  She likes to play with toys and does so either at night when we're asleep or when we're not home(scattered rugs and moved toys are the evidence).She's very curious and alert-any door left open is an open invitation to explore.

She loves to eat and will meow at us from a safe distance if she feels we are a little late in giving her the Fancy Feast.  She waits until we leave the room or I'm sitting a safe distance away before she'll go to her bowl--she immediately bolts if you go anywhere near her while she's eating.  She is like an invisible cat--she never approaches us--obviously we've never been able to pet her.  She doesn't destroy anything-she likes her scratching post.  She's a perfect cat--you would never know we had a cat.  I considered adopting a friend for her but a subsequent call to the shelter revealed that she also takes a dim view of other cats.  Our household is extremely quiet--she has the house to herself and there are no one else in the home except for my husband and myself. I quite frankly wanted a cat that I could interact with. I naively thought that the "shyness" would have been overcome by now.  My question is -Is she a hopeless case?  I've considered bringing her back to the shelter but I hate to give up on her but I would really like to have a cat.  She always walks around with her tail down-I've never seen it held up.  We've given her a lot of latitude-we never confront her.  If she's asleep on one of the beds, I'll speak softly to her from the doorway but if I enter the room-she's gone. As far as I can tell she would be very happy if we moved out and left her the house.  I've looked at some articles about fearful cats but they don't seem to apply to America--the name given to her at the shelter.

I'd appreciate any suggestions.

Thank you
Gail

Dear Gail –

My heart goes out to you – and to this poor kitty, who has really been through the wringer, it sounds like. However, she is already making quite a bit of progress and while it must be frustrating and seem hopeless to you, her improvement is a good sign.  I brought your predicament to Sally Bahner, the Official Behavior Consultant of CAT CHAT and here is her advice:

“Patience, patience, patience. This kitty has been through a lot and it's gonna take time to build her trust. Four months is not all that long in five years of mistrust. Talk to her as much as possible so she gets used to the sound of your voices. Maybe think about shortening her name to “Merry,” which sounds brighter and has the high-pitched sound that cats seem to respond to. When you and her are in the same room, just sit there and read a book so she gets used to your presence and even read the book out loud, again so she gets used to the voices. Leave a TV on, a radio with classical music or soft jazz.

Just adopt a matter-of-fact attitude, say hello when you walk in the door and in the morning even if you don't see her. Keep a bright pleasant attitude. Don't creep around, just go about normal business (but don't go around slamming doors either...). There are lots of Bach flower remedies that might work: “Rock Rose” (terror or fright); “Aspen” (fear of unknown things); “Mimulus” (fear of known things); “Larch” (lack of confidence). If you go to the remedy section of LittleBigCat.com you’ll find some of the following feline-oriented remedies called Spirit Essences (www.spiritessence.com): “Self Esteem,” “New Beginnings,” “Scaredy Cat”. The essences can just be dropped in her water, even food. In the case of America, the essences should really be used consistently.

While she may not be the cuddly cat you wanted, she should come around to be interactive. Speaking of interactive, try playing with her with some fishing pole toys that don't require getting too close. Or toss some treats (dried chicken), so she associates something yummy with your presence.

Some believe that getting a feline companion for her might draw her out of her shell. Getting her a kitty-friend may work if introductions are done properly and the right kitty is chosen. Choose carefully. You wouldn't want to end up with two scaredy cats or worse yet, a bully. I think it's a matter of personality rather than gender. A kitty that's too outgoing may become a bully. One that's too shy may exacerbate the shyness of the existing cats. Sort of moderate, mellow, and friendly is needed.

And I can’t urge you enough - you really need to be patient!”

I hope this gives you some support and fortitude to hang in there with this gal. My new book THE CAT BIBLE just came out and has a lot of suggestions about challenging feline situations like this. Why not seek out a young easy-going male cat and see if that doesn’t help her come out of herself – while giving you a cat to cuddle?!

Good luck to you! 
Tracie Hotchner