I found your website after searching for answers online. We currently have two cats in our home: Duchess, our 5 (almost 6) year old grey tabby, and Holly, our 3 year old black cat. We adopted Holly and her sister, Noel, from the shelter, but to our sadness, Noel got a little too adventurous and didn't come home one evening (we live in a very rural area where the cats can go outside without fear of being run over). So now we just have Duchess, Holly, and our dog, Duke.

In the last few months Duchess, who has been litter box trained since we got her, has been pooping on the floor. She started doing it in the living room, then moved on to doing it under our son's bed, and has now reverted back to the living room. We took her to our vet and after tests were run all day (and $150 bill was given to me), the doctor said she couldn't find anything wrong. There was a slight bit of reddish substance in the poop, and sometimes it's partly solid and partly looser. We do have two litter boxes, but it doesn't seem to be working.

On top of that, Duchess has now started hiding under our son's bed during the night when he's sleeping. Our son (he's 7) wakes up and starts yelling at the cat to get out of his room, as she starts growling any time Holly comes near. I have seen Holly try to "stalk" Duchess (keep in mind these two have been living together since Holly was a baby), and every time I do I admonish one or the other (depending on the situation - sometimes Holly just lays there and Duchess growls at her, other times it's Holly who's stalking).

We're at our wits end. Our son recently said that next Christmas he wanted something to keep Duchess out of his room, which made me unbearably sad. We refuse to close his room, and any gates she'll just jump over. Please help us Tracie - we love our cats and don't want to have to get rid of one, but I don't have another $150 to spend on tests that won't show me if it's a behavioral problem or a medical problem!

I do not have Sirius, but would be more than willing to call in to the show at a specified time, if you feel that you can help us, and I'm honestly begging for help. My husband is ready to take Duchess outside and shoot her, as much as it would pain him to, and although that's the LAST thing I want, I'm at my wits end!

Thank you!

Randi

Dear Randi –

Please do not shoot the cat!! I can hear how upset and frustrated you are, but please tell me you didn’t mean that your husband actually said he would shoot this poor confused kitty cat??  That is not a solution to any problem with a pet – of course you know that – but on top of it, that kind of thinking will have a terrible effect on your young son, who will learn the idea that you destroy the things you cannot control.

When you have litter box avoidance there is something emotional going on in the household that is negatively affecting the “misbehaving” cat. Cats are sensitive and respond negatively for a whole lot of reasons.

PLEASE go get a copy of my new book THE CAT BIBLE right away so you can read (and share with your husband) what makes a cat tick. Cats living in multi-cat households and those with dogs around often have a bad experience and it throws everything else off kilter. Please read about how often you need to scoop the litter, and where to put boxes so they will be used.

In The Cat Bible there are clear instructions on how to use a black light to identify places the cat has messed in, then you have to neutralize those areas with a product like X-O (they’re giving a 15% discount to anyone who orders from CatChatradio.com). (I get nothing for this, by the way, it’s just a chance to support a very "green" company and put the non-toxic product in peoples’ hands. Next you need to keep the cat out of those areas or even consider placing a clean litter box right in the areas where Dutchess has been relieving herself. I would keep the door to your son’s room closed.to remove that location. I would also go right to SpiritEssence.com and look for the Bach flower remedy that most resembles the description of her behavior and when it arrives, rub some inside her ears (and Holly’s too).  For some cats, this really settles them down. You can also purchase a spray bottle of Feliway, a synthetic facial gland hormone which you can spray anywhere she has messed because where cats rub their facial glands they would never relieve themselves.

Dutchess is stressed needs a safe place to do her business. Where are the litter boxes? Are they super clean and in different locations?? With two cats you need three litter boxes (The Cat Bible explains all this) Is she being bugged by the dog or by Holly? Dogs are great for "checking out" cats' litter boxes – sometimes when the kitty is busy in the box!

If your son has been yelling at the cat(s), that is a sure way to send a cat over the edge. Holly is probably reacting to the loud voice your son is using, as well - and taking it out on Dutchess.. If you really love your cats (which you must or you would not have worked to find me), you need to work on the relationship between your boy and the cats and generally calming down the household, if that's at all possible. It sounds like an emotional thing with Dutchess rather. than physical, i.e. another trip to the vet, and that's something that needs to be addressed by the behavior in the household. I’m sorry you had to spend that money when this sounds like a behavior issue, not a medical one.

You also might want to ask yourself what changes in the household preceded the pooping? Did it happen after Noel disappeared? Could it be grief and stress over losing him?? Only you can help get this kitty cat back on track.

I took all this time to answer because I took your husband’s threat literally and your desperation over it. Please let me help you find peace and tranquility again for this cat – or else let’s focus on getting him a good home.

Please let me know how things go,
Tracie Hotchner