I caught the last half of your show last week on Sirius and I was hoping you could help me. My brother has sugar diabetes, had a five artery bypass, and most recently Hepatitis C. He is very ill and three months ago our Maine Coone, Boots died after being with us for 14 years, I had adopted her from the Humane Society as a companion pet for my disabled brother while I worked. She did from renal failure and it traumatized my brother. She was a very special kitty, she woke up my brother at least a few times I know of when my brother's sugar was low. She loved to ride in the car with us on trips just like a dog. We adopted another Maine Coone from a rescue organization a month after Boots passed away. She was fostered by the head of the organization. Her name is Nana B and she was doing well up until almost 2 weeks ago, my brother accidentally stepped on her tail and now she is very scared of him. She would run and hide under my computer desk if he even walked by my room. Now she does not run, but she sometimes does when he comes in the room. She does not go to him when she comes in the living room. I have been petting her and having him come in and pet her when I am there, but she rarely will let him pet her without me being there. This situation is causing great stress and chest pains for my brother. Could you please help me? I am in desperate need of professional advice. Is there any way I could call into your show on Wednesday or talk to you some how? I do not know how much more stress my brother can take.

Sincerely,
Christopher in Daly City, CA

Dear Christopher,

So sorry to hear of your brother's problems and then this sad situation with the kitty cat on top of it!

I turned to Dear Sally, the behavior consultant on CAT CHAT, to see if she had any better ideas than mine, but both of us know that there is never a quick fix with cats and this is going to require lots of patience.

Your brother should have small bits of chicken or another really "high value" treat for the cat which he tosses to him, as close to your brother as the cat will come.

Speaking to the cat in a soft, reassuring, encouraging voice while doing this can also do a lot of good.

Play should be encouraged, especially with a fishing pole toy, which can allow the cat to get closer and closer. Maybe the cat can be placed on his lap for short times, placing him there very slowly and gently and not in any way forcing him to stay. You can gradually increase the amount of time as the cat becomes more comfortable.

Your brother should talk to her a lot - even if the cat isn't right next to him, he should tell her all sorts of nice things, even just stories about his life, so she "hears" him on some level and he especially feels reconnected to her. He needs to make their time together special.

Sally also points out that she's probably a bit skittish in the first place since it's a new environment, but it should smooth over as she becomes more comfortable. Can your brother can take over some of the feeding to encourage the bond?

Unfortunately, you can't force the cat into interaction -- it'll only alienate her more. If the kitty keeps on being distant, may you should consider adopting a second cat for your brother. There are LOADS of lovely Maine Coon cats for adoption (go to www.Petfinders.com) and since they are usually a very loving interactive breed, a new addition might encourage your current cat to trust your brother again.

I hope this helps - you can also always make an appointment for a private session with Dear Sally if you want ongoing support for your situation. Her contact information is on www.CatChatradio.com.

And it may be that there is information in THE CAT BIBLE that can shed some light on your kitty cat's behavior.

Good luck!
Tracie